When “Perfect” Becomes the Problem: How Perfectionism Affects Athlete Mental Health

You’ve trained for months, maybe years, for this competition. You set goals, and sure enough, you crush them! You performed nearly perfectly, an all-time PB! Yet, you find yourself going over every step, wondering how you could’ve been better. You find yourself crushed under your thoughts and replaying your competition videos, all because you could’ve scored higher or your technique could have been slightly improved. A competition where you just hit all of your intended goals has now left you spiralling just by walking from the change room to the car. 

This story is all too common within the world of sport and competition, and I can promise you, you’re not alone in how you’re feeling. With increasing pressure to perform from both external factors and internal, it’s easy to get caught up in the pursuit of perfection. The fear of failing or not meeting your high expectations might even leave you feeling paralyzed pre-, during, or post-competition. 

While this story and these experiences are common, they're also rooted in the relentless pursuit of flawlessness. What you might not realize is that this intense effort to be perfect is often tied to an athlete's sense of self-worth, and over time, it can take a real toll on your mental health.

Getting support for your mental health as an athlete isn’t easy, especially when we tend to normalize the attempt to be perfect as intense effort and drive. Seeing the right therapist will help you to better manage perfectionism and learn how to be proud of yourself in both training and in competition.

Perfectionism in Sport – A Hidden Strain on Athlete Mental Health

Common behaviours:

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  • Overtraining & burnout

    • Adding more training sessions than necessary or encouraged by your coach, without adequate rest. 

    • Adding one more rep, one more throw, one more jump until it’s done perfectly. 

    • Feeling exhausted both mentally and physically despite your rest, nutrition, and training volume being appropriately managed.

  
  

  • Excessive self-criticism despite success

    • Not being able to celebrate your wins or acknowledge improvement.

    • Being stuck in the comparison cycle and comparing yourself to other athletes online, in training, and competition.

  
  

  • Fear of making mistakes

    • Sticking to the skills you know how to do and striving for perfect execution.

    • Signing up for competitions but pulling out last minute, or avoiding them altogether.

Perfectionism vs. healthy striving:

While perfectionism masks itself as helpful, it can be rooted in rigidity, anxiety, and can be self-punishing. Healthy striving is flexible and growth-oriented.

Sport-specific examples:

• Figure skaters obsessing over tiny deductions.

• Soccer players replaying missed goals endlessly.

• Dancers avoiding auditions after one “bad” class.

• Weightlifters focused on why they only hit 5/6 lifts, and not all of them. 

The Mental Health Impact of Perfectionism in Athletes 

Increased anxiety and stress:

• Fear of failure leading to constant pressure and worry.

• Being consumed by thoughts of training and performance outcomes. 

• Sleep issues, appetite changes, or physical complaints with no medical cause.

• Reduced concentration in and outside of training.

Low self-esteem:

• Identity tied to performance outcomes.

• Emotional highs and lows become completely dependent on performance.

• Difficulty separating “who I am” from “how I perform.”

• Difficulty feeling proud of achievements—nothing ever feels “good enough.”

• Over-reliance on external validation (from coaches, parents, scores).

• Minor setbacks trigger intense self-criticism.

• Injuries or breaks in training can cause a full identity crisis.

• Life can feel empty or meaningless when not performing or competing.

Depression and burnout:

• Persistent low mood, fatigue, or a sense of hopelessness.

• Life can feel empty or meaningless when not performing or competing.

• Loss of motivation or interest in sport you once loved.

• Feeling emotionally and physically drained all the time.

• Increased irritability or emotional outbursts during training.

• Sleep issues, appetite changes, or physical complaints with no medical cause.

• Thoughts like “Why bother?” or “I’ll never be enough anyway.”

• Increased irritability or withdrawal from previously enjoyable activities.

Avoidance and isolation:

• Quitting sport, avoiding coaches/peers, or withdrawing socially.

• Avoiding practices or competitions to escape potential failure.

• Turning down social events due to training or fear of judgment.

• Withdrawing from teammates or coaches due to shame or feeling “behind.”

• Deleting competition footage, stats, or photos as a way to disconnect.

• Preferring solo training (or none at all) rather than risking imperfection in front of others.

My Approach to Supporting Athlete Mental Health and Overcoming Perfectionism

Where we start:

Exploring perfectionism and its protective nature. Perfectionism often comes from a deep fear of failure, rejection, or not being “enough”, not from ego or arrogance. That fear deserves compassion, not shame.

We can reflect on how high standards are often linked to past experiences, like pressure from coaches, family, or self-worth tied to achievement.

• Naming and understanding the fear is the first step toward loosening its grip.

Separating the person from their performance:

Exploring who you are outside of sport (values, relationships, personality), building resilience and identity.

We can reflect on wins and losses as experiences, not reflections of your character. We can work together to explore your connection to your stats, scores, or results, with the idea that your worth isn’t dependent on outcomes.

I might encourage a shift from process-oriented goals (“How did I show up today?”), helping shift the focus from outcomes to growth.

• Ultimately, creating space for self-compassion and reminding you that being human means being imperfect.

  
  

*While this is a general example of how I might support someone, every individual comes to therapy with their own needs and experiences. You might start therapy in a different place mentally than another person, and that’s okay!

Key therapeutic tools:

• Cognitive behavioural strategies: Learning skills to challenge automatic thoughts like “all or nothing” and catastrophizing thinking patterns. 

• Values-based work: Reconnecting with why you love your sport and exploring your values as an athlete and a person.

• Mindfulness: Learning to stay present in performance and reduce judgment.

• Self-compassion: Exploring how you can show yourself the same kindness you might show teammates.

The Role of Parents and Coaches:

Coaches and parents (depending on an athlete’s age) are an integral part of supporting an athlete’s mental health. When addressing perfectionism, it takes the whole team to be on the same page.

This often looks like providing appropriate education to coaches and parents to maintain a consistent approach and communication style in supporting an athlete:

• Understanding perfectionism: Perfectionism isn't just “high standards”; it's often rooted in anxiety, fear of failure, or low self-worth.

• The mental health cost of constant pressure: Ongoing performance-based praise or criticism can lead to burnout, anxiety, or depression.

• Exploring motivation styles: Understanding the difference between intrinsic (love of sport) and extrinsic (fear of letting others down) motivation, and encouraging a focus on intrinsic motivation to support positive mental health.

• Signs to watch for: Ensuring parents and coaches have the right information to notice red flags, like increased irritability, avoidance, overtraining, or all-or-nothing thinking.

• The power of language: Using phrases like “What happened out there?” vs “How did you feel out there?” sends very different messages.

• Shift focus from outcome to effort: Encourage feedback like “I saw how focused you were today” instead of “You won!”

• Normalize mistakes and create a safe space to be imperfect: Model acceptance of failure as part of growth e.g., “Everyone misses sometimes. What did you learn from it?” Remind athletes they are valued no matter the result.

• Ask open-ended questions: Promote reflection with prompts like “What felt good today?” or “What was challenging?” rather than jumping to critique.

• Use a team-based approach: Regular check-ins between therapists, coaches, and parents (with the athlete’s consent) to support consistency. 

Conclusion

Perfectionism can drive performance and mask itself as intense focus, but also negatively impact an athlete’s mental health. With support, athletes can hold high standards and stay mentally well.

Take a moment to reflect on how you or your teenager shows up as an athlete. Is the intense drive for perfection negatively contributing to mental health? If you’re ready to get support for your mental health and enjoy your sport again, book your free consultation to explore if therapy as an athlete is the right step for you!